FIREWORK
by GCRessa66
Summary: Cal realizes a little detail, an insignificant detail. But is it so insignificant? Post "React to Contact". UPDATED AND FINISHED 08/16/2012
1. Chapter 1

**A special thanks to ThePoisonousTiger who beta'ed this one-shot. **

**Summary: Cal realizes a little detail, an insignificant detail. But is it so insignificant? **

**Genre : Romance & Family**

**Rating : T**

**This one-shot takes place after 2x14 "React to Contact"**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Lie to Me**

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><p>Cal was finally at home. Just after work, he had gone to the hospital to have a brain scan. Now, sitting at the table in the living room, he was studying his brain reactions to various pictures. A genuine grin crossed his face, and he stepped up to Emily who was cooking in the kitchen.<p>

"Look at this! You're gonna love this. Check that out. What do you see?" Cal asked happily. He put the laptop on the kitchen table, so Emily could see the screen. On the left side, there was a picture of her father and herself, and on the right side, the brain image.

"Hey, wrinkles!" she said. "Like the dogs with their wrinkled faces."

"Yeah, the Sharpei," Cal agreed.

"The brain is ugly," Emily pointed out.

"That's my brain!"

"Oh oh, you have a … very awesome brain," Emily corrected.

Cal thrust out his chest and smiled. "Thank you very much! Okay. You see those areas here; that it's supposed to be love."

Emily moved closer and looked at the picture, smiling at the look on each of their faces, exhilaration on hers and pure love on Cal's. She examined brain image beside the picture, and it confirmed the emotion she'd read on her father's face. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, you looked at a picture of me."

"Yeah, great, huh." Cal clicked the touchpad and a photo of Gillian appeared.

"Oh! Gillian Foster. Boom! Fourth of July!" Emily exclaimed.

Cal gives a half-shrug. "Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?"

Emily shook her head. Even with a material evidence of his love for Gillian, her father kept denying it and finding it "funny". She only half-heard him as he began discussing about brain function.

"You know the neurons—"

"Do you love Gillian?" she asked, interrupting him.

"What? Of course, I love her," retorts Cal. "She's my best friend."

"No, it's more than that," Emily countered. "You're in love with her. Stop denying the truth." She pointed at the laptop screen. "Look at your brain image. It is lit up like a firework when you're looking at Gillian."

Cal frowned as Emily moved the images back to the one with Gillian. He raised an eyebrow and focused on the screen; Emily went back to fixing the meal. She watched him out of the corner of her eye: her father might be deep in thought because he hadn't moved for a couple of minutes.

Indeed, in Cal's mind, the ideas were bumping into each other. Does he love Gillian more than just her best friend? _No, it's impossible._ True, she is gorgeous, smart, intelligent, sensitive, kind. She's always there when he needs her. She often worries about him; in a word, she is the most wonderful woman in the world. And he is definitively not the most wonderful man in the world.

Cal sighed. So was he really in love with her? Of course, since he knew her and, more precisely, since they both divorced, he's been having inappropriate dreams about her, but it doesn't mean he's in love with her, does it? Admittedly, he can't have a day without her because a day without her is a dull and gloomy day. A day which doesn't end with Gillian's visit in his office where they could discuss or simply be together is a miserable day.

Well, he needed her. _Yes_! He needed to see her, to feel her close to him, to hear her melodious voice and her laugh, to touch her (her arm, her shoulder, her hand, her waist), to watch her eating her sweets, to smell her perfume. Over the years she has become essential, vital for him: his oxygen, the reason he gets up in the morning, the only person who knows how to calm him, the only person who really means something to him (besides his daughter).

Shit, he was in love with his best friend ! Cal tried hard not to show his emotions on his face. Emily may not be a detection expert, but she'd learned a lot from him. How did he get to this point? How did he manage to fall for love's little game? Even though with Gillian, everything is so easy, so possible, and so simple! It's true he was crazy about her_. _But what would he do with this new information?

Faced with this reality, he felt his face get hot. Emily watched his father and saw on his face turning red the moment he accepted this new revelation. She smiled. She had pushed her father to face facts. Honestly, in her opinion, her dad and Gillian were made to be together. She always knew it. Well maybe not always, but she saw how Gillian helped and supported her father after his divorce, how she never gave up on him even when he badly and bitterly yelled at her to get lost.

At that time, she admired Gill's strength and fidelity. Well, Emily definitely loved Gillian. They had always been close. Emily loved spending time with her; she knew she could talk to her, confide in her because Gillian always treats her like an adult. She really considered Gill like her second mother, and as she had told Gillian one day, her father was so much happier when he was with her. To Emily, Gillian was her father's soulmate, the woman who was meant for him, the woman of his life, the one and only.

"Dad, are you okay?" Emily tried not to smile too widely at this question.

Surprised, he jumped and turned to look at Emily, his hand on his heart. "Are you crazy? You scared me. Why'd you yell?"

"I didn't yell, Dad," Emily countered, "but you must be lost in your thoughts cuz you had been staring at the laptop for the last ten minutes. Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Of course, everything's all right," Cal said, turning away from the laptop. "I really don't know what you're talking about. Is the meal ready?"

"I think in your jargon, that's called deflection, isn't it?" Emily said with a smirk.

"Enough, Em... So how was your day?"

Emily sighed; she might as well give up pushing him any further and explain her day to her father. An hour later, Cal washed the dishes, his mind miles away while Emily was watching TV.

"I'm going to bed," Emily said as she got up from her chair. "I'm exhausted. Good night, daddy." She strolled over to him and kissed him.

"Good night, love," Cal said giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Sweet dreams. See ya tomorrow."

While she was climbing the stairs, Cal heard her mumbling "You should tell her before it's too late". He turned to her to argue with her comment, but she was gone. He went to the sofa, put his head on his hands and sighed. How could he tell Gillian he loves her? Should he tell her or keep on pretending they were "just friends"? He felt his heart pound in his chest. What if he lost her or her friendship? What if he disappointed her? He couldn't handle that. What if he wasn't good enough to be with her? What if he mucked it up again like he did with Zoe? He didn't think he knew how to love her like she deserves.

Then the thought of her meeting someone who would satisfy her in every way came into his mind. He thought of her going away, abandoning him, leaving him. Like his mother, like Zoe, like everybody around him. He felt the acid in his stomach kick up, and this feeling was worse than when he thought about not being good enough for her.

All this life, his creed was "Don't get attached to anybody in order to never be abandoned". But with Gillian, he lowered his guard; he let her penetrate his wall. So now, he had to pay for it. Because Gillian could never have the same feelings. She could never love a selfish, insensitive, dangerous man like him. What was he going to do? Now he had this revelation, working with her will become a nightmare. He could no longer look at Gillian like before, could no longer admire her perfect body in her skin-tight dresses without having inappropriate thoughts. He could no longer touch her without feeling aroused. Shit, he was doomed.

At that moment, he felt cursed for having a so brilliant daughter and for showing her the brain images. What an idiot he was ! He was sure he would never get any sleep at all that night. There was too much chance he would dream and a really different, boiling and explosive firework would illuminate and overheat his brain.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A /N : I decided to continue the fiction FIREWORK. I hope you'll like it !**_

_**I don't own Lie To Me or any of the characters.**_

_**Song : She – Elvis Costello**_

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><p>The next day, Cal got up exhausted. Obviously, he didn't sleep a wink the night before. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about his feelings for Gillian, had balanced the pros and the cons of an eventual confession, without reaching an appealing and definitive conclusion.<p>

He looked at the paper in his hands and read it:

**Pros of vowing my love for Gillian:**

1. Being the happiest and luckiest man in this entire world.

2. Making her happy (with no pretension at all)

3. Being able to go to sleep every night, and wake up every morning, snuggling up against Gillian.

4. Being able to really be myself, to drop the mask. Letting her openly read my expressions and my feelings on my face.

5. Being able to envisage and plan holidays for just the two of us, far away from Washington.

6. Not being alone anymore. Being able to completely open up to her, to share everything with her.

7. Organizing romantic dates where I could offer her all she always dreamed of.

8. Being able to kiss her (and not just in the corner of her mouth) whenever I'd like.

9. Her taking my name (Gillian Lightman! that rings really well, doesn't it?)

10. Trying to fulfill one of her biggest dream: giving her a child. Or doing everything to be able to adopt a baby.

Oh yeah and….

11. Above all, finally being able to discover the collection of sexy lingerie she must have (here, I'm starting to get tired!). Revealing the "bad girl" she doesn't allow herself to be (oh, I would love to see that! I'm starting to talk nonsense, oops!)

**Cons of vowing my love for Gillian:**

1. She deserves someone better than me.

2. She can't possibly have the same deep feelings as me. She'll definitely laugh in my face.

3. I risk losing her. And losing her is losing everything, it's losing my own life!

4. If our relationship doesn't work, I'll risk losing her friendship, her affection, her attention, her care.

5. I'm sure I'll end up ruining everything and messing everything up.

At the end of that mental torture, he still didn't know what to do. Upset and lost, Cal folded the paper and slid it in the back pocket of his jeans. He slowly went down the stairs and into the kitchen. Emily certainly should have already left for the high school because her bowl of cereal was lying in the kitchen sink and her backpack was no longer in the entrance. He sighed, slightly relieved not to have to face an interrogation about his intentions concerning Gillian. He knew his daughter (after all, she wasn't HIS daughter for nothing!), she was rather of the stubborn kind of kid and she would never drop the subject so easily!

As Cal was about to open the refrigerator, his glance stopped on the door of it. There a small note was held by a magnet. He grasped it and read it aloud:

"**TELL HER! You both deserve to be happy, so TELL HER! Or even better, when you arrive at work this morning, go straight in her office and without a word, you kiss her! ;)**

**P.S.: By the way, I love you daddy ;)"**

_He knew it! She would never leave him alone if he wasn't totally honest with Gillian! He was finished!_

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><p>Once his breakfast was eaten, he took his car keys and his mobile phone and left in the direction of the Lightman Group. Wanting to stop the thoughts that were bustling in his head, he turned on the radio. He didn't really pay attention to the presenter's announcement about the next song…. from a certain Elvis Costello, he thought he heard. But, when he heard the first notes of piano and the first words, Cal couldn't help turning up the volume of the radio.<p>

_**She  
>May be the face I can't forget<br>A trace of pleasure or regret  
>May be my treasure or the price I have to pay<br>She may be the song that summer sings  
>May be the chill that autumn brings<br>May be a hundred tearful things  
>Within the measure of the day.<strong>_

_No, that was impossible! This morning, the world decided to gang up on him, or what? _He sighed, giving a murderous glance at the radio.

_**She  
>May be the beauty or the beast<br>May be the famine or the feast  
>May turn each day into a heaven or hell<br>She may be the mirror of my dreams  
>A smile reflected in a stream<br>She may not be what she may seem  
>Inside a shell <strong>_

_**She who always seems so happy in a crowd  
>Whose eyes can be so private and so proud<br>No one's allowed to see them when they cry  
>She may be the love that can and hope to last<br>May come to me from shadows of the past  
>That I remember till the day I die <strong>_

_**She  
>May be the reason I survive<br>The why and where for I'm alive  
>The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years<br>Me I'll take her laughter and her tears  
>And make them all my souvenirs<br>For where she goes I got to be  
>The meaning of my life is <strong>_

_**She, she, she **_

Suddenly, millions of pictures and memories invaded his mind: images of a happy and smiling Gillian; images of Gillian in tears; images of a terrified Gillian; images of his very first meeting with her; images of her when she had helped him get through his divorce… _Yes, Gillian was really all these things and so many others. She was more than the meaning of his life, she was HIS life!_

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><p>Reaching his destination, he parked his car in his reserved parking space and noticed Gillian's car was still not there. It was surprising, because usually she always arrived before him. Just before going to his office, he asked Heidi to call him as soon as Gillian arrived. However, he didn't hear from Heidi all day long. Furious she had forgotten to call him, he rose from his chair, rushed to Heidi's desk and shouted at her: "Heidi, I asked you to inform me of Gillian's arrival!"<p>

"I know Sir, but…"

"What? Have you forgotten? You had so much work to do that you didn't have one minute to call me? Gillian asked you to say nothing to me because she was on a case she knew very well that I would have refused to take?"

"No Sir, it's just… Doctor Foster hasn't arrived yet!"

"What do you mean she hasn't arrived yet? It's five pm! Didn't she call? When she left yesterday evening, didn't she inform you of her absence?" That news aggravated Cal's nervousness who immediately felt overwhelmed with anxiety. _Something must have happened to Gillian! Not calling or keeping the Lightman Group posted wasn't her style!_

"I know, Sir, but she didn't say anything!"

Frantically, Cal took his phone out of his jeans pocket and dialled Gillian's number. After the first ring, the voice mail went off. He hung up without leaving a message and dialled the number again. Again, voice mail! He called her house phone, in vain! Again, the damned answering machine! Cal was feeling the adrenalin and the anxiety rising more and more.

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><p><em>Where was she? Why didn't she answer her telephone? What if she was hurt or she had been attacked? He could not lose her before having admitted his feelings to her! He definitely had to go to her house! He had to tell her! Emily was right, he could not wait anymore, he had to tell her his feelings before it was too late! Oh my God, it was maybe already too late! No, no and no! Why was he always thinking in a tragic way? Don't panic, Cal! Just breathe!<em>

He was finally in front of the door of Gillian's apartment, the ride over had seemed endless. He didn't know how well he had driven there, because everything had seemed rather fuzzy to him. Indeed, there had been this fear, this anxiety about losing her, this nightmare where something horrible had happened to her. He didn't know yet what he was going to do, but the simple thought of seeing her comforted him. The discussion with Heidi has really been a kick in the guts to him!

It's crazy how life can play tricks on you and that that's the only way you can realize that some things are essential to you. When he woke up this morning, he didn't know what to do and now he could not wait anymore! He imperatively, certainly and indubitably had to tell her! For the very first time, he felt this sense of emergency. Not like when he was on a case where he quickly had to find the liar and the person being honest. No! It was more as if he felt he was going to lose something important if he didn't immediately tell her his love. As if he would be too late if it wasn't THIS night. As if his revelation would lose its power with the sunrise.

Because he loved her. Quite simply. Actually, he had always known it… since their first meeting… but now, he had finally dared to admit it to himself. He loved her! Savagely, powerfully, like he had never loved anybody else before.

Finally, if she didn't want him, if she told him that he was too late, he would never again put his eyes on another woman as he did on her. And he wouldn't want another woman either. After all, she had made several steps in his direction but he had always stepped back.

He raised his hand to knock on the door. Feeling a wave of determination, he moved in the direction of the door, but quickly stopped. He put his palm on the wood and nightmarish images bombarded his mind. He closed his eyes, wishing to chase them away. It was a very bad idea because they invaded his mind with more strength. He opened his eyes and at that moment, he knew! It was THE moment! He wouldn't step back anymore.

He banged against the door and waited for a few moments, for an eternity, before the one he loved came to answer his knock. She slowly opened the door, wondering who could disturb her so late. Dishevelled, she was looking at him with surprise in her eyes. She was a little confused, as if seeing him for the first time. Dressed in large, well, very large pajamas, she didn't do anything. She was staring at him intensely and thought: _He could not have come at a worse moment than that one._ _Because she had just discovered something which would certainly and inexorably change her life, their lives forever…_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks for all the reviews. You're all awesome! **_

_**A/N: I don't own Lie To Me or any of the characters.**_

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><p>Dressed in large, well, very large pajamas, she didn't do anything. She was staring at him intensely and thought: <em>He could not have come at a worse moment than that one.<em> _Because she had just discovered something which would certainly and inexorably change her life, their lives forever…_

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><p>Relieved to see her, Cal missed her sad and lost expression. He delicately pushed her aside and went in.<p>

"Ah, you're here! I was beginning to worry! So like that, you take one lazy day without telling anyone! You're really a naughty girl! I knew you were not such a good girl", teased Cal, his cheerfulness found again, knowing that she was safe and sound. He unceremoniously fell on the sofa, apparently really comfortable in her house.

"So what did you do today?" he asked her. He turned his head slightly to the right, waiting for Gillian's scathing retort, but nothing… No answer! That was when he noted the small wrinkles in the corner of her eyes as she was staring at him. Suddenly, he saw the vestiges of tears on her pinked cheeks and noticed she had curled up in the corner of her sofa. Cal's anxiety quickly resurfaced.

"Gillian, darling, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry to have worried you. I would have… hem… I should have… I should have called. Excuse me. I've just been miles away all day long."

"Are you sure everything's fine?" he asked her more and more suspicious.

"Yes. I assure you." she tried to convince him, a ghost of a smile on her lips. The words were feeling so familiar as they slipped across her tongue, leaving a bitter taste behind. "I will need to take Friday off."

"_Again?_ You're really taking pleasure in not working, aren't you?" Cal said, trying to be ironic, but feeling the atmosphere of the room growing heavier.

"No, I just have a hospital appointment on Friday so I'd be able to rest during the weekend and be ready to go back to work next Monday."

Those words made Cal's blood run cold. _**"**_A routine check?" Cal asked with a slightly trembling voice.

Gillian shrugged. "I don't know. I've never had this procedure performed before." She said obliquely.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Will you need someone to accompany you?" Cal folded his hands, twiddling his thumbs rapidly.

"No, apparently it doesn't require any sort of anesthetic." she answered, completely ignoring his offer of help. "I just really need Friday off." Gillian repeated, defensively.

She got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to prepare two cups of tea. Cal felt Gillian was hiding something from him. Since his arrival, she hadn't once looked at him in the eyes. She seemed to be afraid and ashamed of something. _But of what?_

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><p>Long minutes had passed by and Gillian had not returned. Cal decided to go investigating. He found her in the kitchen, standing against the sink, with a distant look. Her posture was tense, her shoulders slightly bent. She was not the Gillian he knew!<p>

"Gill?" Cal whispered not to frighten her.

"Mmmm"

"What are you hiding from me? Why do I feel like your hospital appointment is not really a routine check? Are you sick?"

"I don't know."

"Is it serious?"

"I don't know!" she answered with an unsure voice Cal had never heard before. "I just know something isn't right, but I don't know if it is serious. The doctors have to run tests."

At that moment, Cal's face was in real danger of being stuck permanently in a look of extreme concern and horror. His world seemed to collapse under his feet as Gillian revealed her secret: "Why the hell do you need tests running? Tell me, Gillian!" Cal urged her.

After some minutes of silence that seemed an eternity to Cal, Gillian whispered: "I found a lump." her eyes closed and her face screwed up in nervous anticipation.

"You mean in your _breast_?"

"No, in my throat, you fool. Of course, my breast!"

Cal's face lost all of its color. "Oh shit?" he muttered. "Honey, why didn't you tell me?" Cal asked her a little upset. "I'm your best friend, am I not?"

Gillian took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to calm her frenetic heartbeats and then said: "Because I don't need your pity. I don't need you to treat me differently just because you think I've got cancer only to turn away and distance yourself from me again when it turns out I'm okay."

Surprised by her answer, he tried to reassure her:"I wouldn't do that. I'm just…" He got closer to her to take her in his arms, but she moved away and silently went back in the living room.

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><p>Sat side by side on the sofa, Gillian was twisting her fingers, with her head lowered, while Cal was looking at her, uncertain and terrified. Suddenly, feeling the pressure of Cal's glance on her, she broke the silence and explained: "A few days ago, I was taking a shower and I felt a sensation I never had felt before. I checked my breast and I felt a lump. Immediately I called the hospital and arranged an appointment which took place this morning. That's why I didn't come to work today and didn't inform anybody. I'm sorry, Cal…"<p>

Gillian took a deep breath before continuing:"The doctors examined me but they would like to run more tests, that's why I have another appointment at the end of the week."

A little shattered by that news, Cal said: "Okay. A sensation you never had felt before… Really, never, _never_? I mean, not even at the start of your period or something like that?" Cal was embarrassed to ask her those questions but he had to know!

Irritated, she answered him: "No, I had NEVER felt that before! You know, I know my body and I regularly check myself to see if there are anomalies! So they have to do a scan and a biopsy…"

Cal stayed silent, his eyes reflecting concern and fear. Eventually, he raised his head up, opened and closed his mouth apparently disturbed and succeeded in articulating: "Would you like… Would you like me to come with you? I mean, if they do a biopsy, you might have pain. I could maybe drive you to the hospital and then later, drive you home. And then, I could just leave or stay with you if you need me." Cal was visibly feeling really uncomfortable.

Gillian sighed: "That's okay. I don't want to bother you."

"Are you kidding, Gillian! You're never bothering me! I want to be with you, like you always are there for me."

Gillian, on the defensive, answered: "So, it's just courtesy?"

Surprised by the unexpected reaction of the young woman, Cal added: "No, that's not what I meant. Listen luv, I care about you enormously, even if these last few months, I haven't really shown you. And I'm sorry for that. But besides Emily, you're the most important person in my life and I want to be with you and help you… Please, darling."

Gillian stared at his face trying to read the smallest lie but his face was only showing love, care and worry. Reassured, she accepted his offer.

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><p>The three days wait before Gillian's appointment was a real hell for both of them.<p>

Especially for Cal! He was really stressed. He was taking all his anxiety out shouting at the employees of the Lightman Group and threatening to fire them or to cut off their salaries. In short, he was dreadful. As if the whole world was against him. And even if he knew he shouldn't be rightly feeling it, he was blaming Gillian too and was feeling guilty to have those emotions.

_After all, everything was __Gillian's__ fault! He had finally realized his feelings for her and she pulverized him with that bomb! A lump in her breast! A cancer? She had no right to do that to him! My God, after all, he would have preferred she had been attacked! At least, the cure would have been faster and he would have been sure she was alive. _He was inwardly slapping himself, cursing himself to have those thoughts. _How could he think that way? How did he dare to think like that? He was a monster!_ He hated himself. Fate could not be against him, against them like that. It was impossible! Don't we say the wheel of fortune goes round and round? He had the impression that that wheel had been stuck for several years, for Gillian as well as for him. Didn't they deserve happiness?

Since Gillian's revelation, he was living with a weight on his stomach that threatened to crush him at any time. He was feeling more breathless, and had lost his appetite. He was having nightmare on nightmare in which Gillian eventually was inexorably dying. _Terrified_ was the word. He was terrified and that was a feeling he had always had trouble handling. So, he was nasty. He knew he was nasty with his employees but he had to pour out those excess feelings before they overwhelmed him. Seeing as he couldn't dump an outburst on either his daughter or on Gillian, he was doing it on his employees. It was like that! No choice!

As for Gillian, she had the feeling of being permanently spied on. Cal came checking on her every five minutes. He made sure she hadn't had to go out in the field. He was watching her every movement, was trying to read every expression on her face, overstepping the "Line" with no restraint. She was feeling stifled. She knew Cal hated not controlling situations, and in that particular moment, he had no control at all over her, over her possible disease, over their future. But his behavior was really beginning to annoy her.

_After all, everything was __Cal's__ fault. If he didn't come poking his nose into her life, if he hadn't insisted on knowing what was going on, she would have said nothing to him! And the week would have been much more bearable! If initially she hadn't had told to him about the lump, it was exactly because she knew Cal would have had trouble dealing with the news. But no, his Lordship needed to know everything, to control everything. So now, he knew! He was worried but it was his fault. He could only blame himself! _Gillian knew deep down in her heart that Cal had nothing to do with all this, that he was acting as a worried friend but she was _terrified_ too! And in those situations, her brain tended to lose any notion of logic or rationality! She was also living with a bowling ball in her stomach which was growing with every passing day, threatening to suffocate her. But unfortunately, she couldn't do anything. She simply had to wait. Wait on Friday. Wait for the tests running. Wait for the results. Wait for her life to be turned upside down. Just wait.

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><p><em><strong>What do you think about this chapter? Let me know? Thanks for having read it!<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**_The waiting is finally over. Or maybe not?_**

**_Enjoy! R&R, please!_**

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><p>The atmosphere was tense as they sat silently in the hospital waiting room. Cal turned his head briefly to study Gillian's profile. She was reading a magazine… well glancing through it actually. He wasn't sure she was really focused on her reading. Anyway, <em>he<em> for sure wasn't able to focus on anything. Instead, he studied people scattered around him, looking for lies, training himself in deciphering micro-expressions. Suddenly, he sneaked another furtive glance at her out the corner of his eye.

"You wanna ask something?" she croaked, her throat dry from not speaking in a while.

"I don't know," he confessed, caught off-guard by her sudden question.

She rolled her eyes, infuriated. "Of course you do. You just don't know how to say it."

Cal felt his cheeks redden at her piercing look. "How are you feeling?"

She ducked her head before answering: "Nervous. Anxious. And a little happy."

"_Happy_? Really?" asked Cal, taken aback by her admission.

"Yeah. At least, you're here with me. I mean, I can take care of you, I can be there for you whenever you need me, I can do a number of things in the same vein, I can save your life thousand times, but I really have your entire attention when you think you might lose me." She stopped talking to observe his micro-expressions. His jaw was as cramped as his fists. "My need for you doesn't switch off when I'm not having any problems," whispered Gillian, her eyes rapidly scanning the room.

"Maybe, but if nothing's wrong with you, I have no excuse to take care of you," confessed Cal, a little sheepish.

"You don't _need_ an excuse," she interrupted.

"Of course, I need…" began Cal.

"Gillian Foster?" called a doctor, abruptly stopping Cal in his explanation attempt. Gillian nodded and put her hands on her knees, pushing herself up. As she was approaching the doctor, Cal quickly took her wrist. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked gently.

"Cal, they're going to… you know…" said Gillian, pointing at her chest. She didn't want to talk about that with him here and there.

"I know," smiled Cal. "I meant, maybe… I could… Would you like me to…? Would you like me to hold your hand or something like that? Just in case it hurts, of course," he rapidly added.

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks," answered Gillian before following the doctor into the examination room.

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><p><span>Some time later, in the waiting room…<span>

Cal was seething with impatience. He was feeling his legs teeming due to trying not to pace. He wasn't a man of inactivity. He hated passivity and waiting. With his behavior, he often looked like a hyperactive kid, always fidgeting, twisting his body in all directions, not being able to stay still, only for a few moments.

The announcement of his feelings to Gillian having been widely put aside since the revelation of the young woman being sick, he was thinking about the way to tell her… let's just say… that afternoon when they would be back home from the hospital. _But how to tell Gillian without her interpreting it as pity?_ Knowing Gillian as he did, she was an independent woman who hated showing her weaknesses. _So, how was she going to react if finally the results turned out to be positive? If she really had cancer? Would she let him take care of her, help her with the treatments and the associated side effects? How would she react when she would begin to lose her hair? Or if she had to undergo a mastectomy? Of course, for him, she would always remain the most beautiful woman in the world – the most desirable woman even if the disease would most probably weaken her. But would Gillian let him love her? Gillian was not a narcissistic or conceited woman but the loss of her feminine assets could not be without consequences!_ All these questions were swirled in Cal's head, leaving him no respite.

Gillian, his Gillian, his beautiful and marvelous Gillian! She had said to him something which was perturbing him: "I don't need your pity. I don't need you to treat me differently just because you think I've got cancer only to turn away and distance yourself from me again when it turns out I'm okay." _How could she think that after all these years of friendship? It had already been seven years that they knew each other. Five years since they had established the Lightman Group and had become partners. He had to admit that sometimes he could be really nasty or that he could "play solo", but every time, the only thought that made him behave in such a way was Gillian's safety and his thirst for justice. First and foremost protecting Gillian then protecting the innocents, the victims, the defenseless persons. At which price? At any cost! Even at the price of his own life! Not having been able to decipher the distress of his mother, not having been able to help her, to protect her, to save her, had weakened and traumatized him forever. No matter what, in his head, it had been and always will be __his__ fault! Because of that, he was trying by any means to redeem himself, to get rid of that sense of guilt which was eating him. To reach this goal, he had given himself the mission to protect those he loved and the people in distressful situations. Even if he was doing it badly and even more because of the "Line", he had always wanted to protect Gillian. She mattered to him more than anyone else: her support, her ability to listen, her opinions, her kindness, her capacity to see the best in everybody, her 'little girl' side she could show sometimes, her passion for romance novels, her innocence, her freshness, her beauty. He had tried so many times to show her how much she was important to him but she had always tended to hide behind the "Line". _

_Sometimes, he was cold, heartless, indifferent to her and her feelings, but it was only a facade, an act, a mask he had hid himself and his deepest feelings behind. But it was decided! From today, he would definitely drop the mask and would let her read all his thoughts and feelings. After all, she was the only woman for him, the one and only, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. So he might as well be completely honest, frank and open. Because anyway, he refused to believe the idea she could be sick. No, no and no! She was not sick! The doctors were obviously going to tell her that the lump was benign, that it contained no cancer cells. He was sure of that! It was only a false alarm, a fright to urge him to admit his feelings to her. That's right! Life arranged itself to help Cal to vow his feelings to Gillian! Obviously, it could have chosen a less drastic method but that had been its intention! But now, that was enough, he had understood. He had UNDERSTOOD! Fate could keep going at other people, could go and worry other families, and finally leave HIS Gillian alone and give her back to him safe and sound!_

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><p>Gillian gingerly left the examination room, her chest hurting from the needle they had inserted into the soft tissue around her breast.<p>

Cal stood up anxiously as Gillian was getting closer. "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows turned up.

Gillian managed to smile. "I'm okay. Just a bit painful from the needle. It will probably last for a day. During the mammogram and the sonogram, the doctors found an abnormality – a nodule. They think it is just a fibrocystic mastitis, but they took a biopsy just to be safe. I have to come back in one week to get my results. For the next two days, I have to check if another hard lump appears which will correspond to a hematoma." Gillian delivered the news in one breath.

"It's reassuring, right? The lump doesn't seem to be cancerous." Cal asked hopefully.

"It's not 100% clear, but it looks that way." A little unsure smile emerging on her face.

"Great. Come on, I drive you home," offered Cal, gently sliding his right arm under Gillian's left one. They went out of the hospital, slowly walking towards Cal's car.

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><p>Finally at home, Gillian watched as Cal set himself down on her couch. "Can I get you a drink?" she asked, managing to shake herself out of her thoughts about the cancer.<p>

"Maybe a cup of tea? Hem… by the way, could you bring your laptop here, please luv?"

"Why do you need my laptop?" asked the young woman, surprised by his request.

"Humour me, please honey," begged Cal with a large smile on his face, trying to make her give up.

"All right," whispered Gillian as she withdrew to the kitchen.

_Okay. It's now or never. I have to admit my feelings to her, now! It's the moment! Come on, Cal. Calm down! Just breathe! Everything's gonna be all right! You're simply going to be honest with her. _

A moment later, Gillian came back from the kitchen, her laptop under her arm and carrying a tray with their cups of tea.

_Here, she is! God, she's beautiful! How can she be so beautiful? I so don't deserve this wonderful woman to be in my life! _

Carefully, Gillian took up position next to him, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Okay, here's the computer. What do you need it for, Cal?"

Cal shrugged, savoring the sweet beverage on his tongue and lips. "We both know I've waited long, too long. Because of the "Line". And what you said – and Emily and Heidi actually - made me realize some truths ... things about myself that I'd rather not have confronted."

Gillian looked at his face. Cal's eyes were not seeking out hers, the gentle brows pushing themselves so far over his eyes that they threatened to engulf them completely. He was tight-lipped. "Like what?" asked Gillian, intrigued.

"Well, the fact that I have treated you in such an abhorrent manner, like a subordinate and not like an equal. The fact I have distanced myself from you and that I have been so careless. The fact I have risked our company's future more than once without worrying about consequences. I'm so sorry, Gillian… And I wanted to tell you something else, something really important… but I don't know… hem…"

"Cal, that's okay." Gillian said, trying to reassure him. "You know you can tell me everything." She delicately put her hand on his arm, gently squeezing it.

Cal sighed before taking a USB key out of his jeans pocket and plugged it into the laptop. "Okay, wait." Eventually, after some clicks, an MRI scan appeared on the screen. "You see these areas here; you know it's supposed to be love." She was nodding when Cal clicked the touchpad and a photo of Gillian popped up. Gillian attentively examined the MRI scan beside her picture, and then suddenly looked up at Cal, wide-eyed. A long minute of silence passed, neither of them daring to speak first. Both were visibly really anxious and uncomfortable.

Not being able to bear the silence any longer, Cal nervously began to ramble: "I know I'm not the most handsome, reliable, attentive, stable man in this world, I know you deserve someone better than me. I've always been so afraid to lose you. Pushing you away has always been easier than the risk of loving and losing you but Gill, I can't wait any longer. I lo…" He was abruptly interrupted by Gillian's lips on him. His eyes were wide open, a dumbfounded look freezing on his face, but slowly he pulled her closer to deepen that kiss, a hand running through her silken hair. Slightly pulling away without really moving away, Gillian stifled a laugh. "Why are you being so dramatic? And why are you being so self-deprecatory? What's making you so insecure?"

"I'm not good enough for you," he answered, matter-of-factly.

"I think I'm the person to make _that_ evaluation. And I think you're _very_ good for me."

They stared into each other's eyes before crushing their lips together. When their lips touched, something inside them both snapped and suddenly stopping wasn't an option anymore. Gillian's hand snaked up into Cal's hair and she opened her mouth, giving Cal's tongue access to hers. The kiss was deep and languid, neither willing to stop to even catch their breaths. Gillian moaned and shivered at Cal's touch. When their lungs couldn't stand it anymore, Cal broke the kiss.

"My feelings are so… inappropriate, right now," sighed Cal, a large smile stretching his mouth.

"Really? How so?" asked Gillian playfully.

"If you want to know more, you'll have to tell _me _about yours."

"Fine then." She reddened slightly. "You want to know how inappropriate _my_ feelings are? I keep having this fantasy about you and me in a shower, together, washing each other and rubbing vanilla shower gel all over our bodies. Every time I smell vanilla now, mmm..." she trailed off, moaning.

Cal swallowed, feeling his heartbeat speed up aggressively. "I fantasize about us making love on the couch in my office and on the steps of the mezzanine in my study," confessed Cal. "I can't tell you exactly what happens, but let's just say it's _very_ inappropriate."

"Really?"

"I want to make love to you, Gillian. I love you so much. You mean the world to me," he whispered hoarsely.

"I love you too, Cal. So very much. It scares me sometimes to feel so emotionally attached to you, so attracted and dependent on you. I need you in my life too." Gillian told him, affectionately stroking his cheek.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for having read this chapter! Hope you liked it!<em>**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews! They really made me happy! _**

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><p>Gillian's heart thundered wildly as she gently took his hand and guided him towards her bedroom. They stared at each other for long seconds before Cal cleared his throat and stepped aside for her to enter first. She gave him her best smile as she slipped past and made sure to sway her hip as she walked, knowing he'd follow her inside. Cal had never been into her sanctuary, so he took the time to scrutinize the decorations. There were two shelves covered with books and framing the door that should probably lead to the bathroom. To the right of one shelf, a dresser sat enthroned. Four pictures had pride of place on it: one of Gillian at birth, one when Gillian was ten, one when she was twenty and one when she was thirty. Cal's glance went to the bed and the bedside tables. On the one at the right side <em>("Gillian's side,"<em> he thought) were an alarm clock, a book and a photo in which Cal, Gillian and Emily were smiling, embraced in a "group hug". He adored that picture. For that matter, he had the same one in his bedroom and it was the first thing he looked at when he got up in the morning. The photographer had known how to capture the most beautiful smile of Gillian. She was particularly radiant in it – an angel.

"Yeah, I know… this picture…" Gillian began shyly, seeing her friend staring at it. "That day had been magnificent even though I had wholly regretted its end," she sighed, suddenly invaded by a wave of nostalgic feelings and memories: the end of that day had been particularly grueling for everybody but especially for Gillian. Cal, Emily and herself had gone back to Cal's house in order to end the day around dinner, but Zoe had arrived unexpectedly and had taken Gillian's presence very badly. Results: reproaches had been shouted out, insults had been burst out, tears (Emily's) had been shed, doors had slammed, and Gillian had finally chosen to leave to let them be "a family" (without even having had time to savor the chocolate pudding Cal had bought especially for her). Just thinking about that day (about the arguments as well as the missed pudding), tears came to sting her eyes.

Cal walked towards her and took her in his arms: "Shh! That's okay. I'm sorry; I didn't want to make you cry."

"It's all right. I'm just hypersensitive these days. There are a lot of worries and stress. I didn't expect all of that," Gillian admitted, embarrassed.

Cal could see that her walls were down, and before she had a chance to compose herself properly, he dipped his head, and tenderly touched his lips to hers. "Were you expecting that?" Cal asked her, mischievously.

Gillian bit back a laugh. "No, I wasn't." She returned his gesture, applying slightly more pressure than he had done. Moving back a little, Cal looked at her as though trying to better probe her, his eyes brimming with attention and worship. _She really was the most precious jewel to this world!_ He kissed her again, more profoundly and properly this time, parting his mouth against her beloved one. "Is this what you want? Definitely?" The whisper was throaty, filled with passion, but also tinged with yearning and need.

Gillian sensed his turmoil. "I want this," she replied, firmly but softly.

"Do you have anything ... anything I can use?" His cheeks reddened as Gillian pulled away and inspected his expression.

Tenderly, she reached out and caressed his cheek. "No. But I'm using the contraceptive pill. We'll be safe," she said affirmatively. Catching Cal's frown, she smiled. "Honestly, we'll be okay. Anyway, you very well know that I had never succeeded in getting pregnant even when I was pining for it more than anything else," Gillian concluded, an ounce of sadness in her voice. To initiate contact again, she reached out, and with shaky hands, proceeded to unbutton Cal's shirt.

It was Cal's turn to smile. "You okay?" he asked gently, his hands dropping to her waist. "You're trembling."

"Yeah, I'm just a little nervous," she tried to reassure him.

"Me too. It's a big step we're going to take," admitted Cal.

Gillian pushed Cal's shirt open and let it fall on the floor. Finally free from the sartorial obstacle, she run her fingertips over Cal's solid, muscular, hairless chest, provoking shivers all along his body. His lips brushed hers softly and then again and she sighed, her hands slowly moving up to his shoulders to hold on as his own gripped her hips. Cal's kiss deepened, his tongue flicking gently against the inside of her mouth as though wanting to taste every inch of it.

"I've wanted you for years, Gillian." He pressed closer, before continuing, "Forgive me for not quite believing you're here, that this is happening." Cal breathed in deeply and let it back out, "You smell amazing; like lavender. Your skin," he paused briefly to run the backs of his fingers down her bare arm, "is as soft as silk. I'll never get tired of touching you." His words caused goose-bumps to rise on her skin. His right hand cupped her shoulder and then moved down her arm, past her fingers to her bare thigh and then traced his fingers back up her side, ruffling the layers of her dress and cupped her breast.

Gillian let out a low cry and arched into his touch. "Cal…" She moaned as his teeth nipped at her earlobe and throat.

But as he brought his other hand up to gently fondle her other breast, Gillian slapped his hand away. "Don't! I'm sorry but this one is still painful due to the biopsy," Gillian explained slyly.

"That's okay, luv. _I_'m sorry. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me." Cal replied, a little embarrassed. Gillian smiled back at him and tried to put him at rest by kissing him again.

"I want to make this last but I don't think I can wait that long," Cal breathed softly against her skin and she shivered.

"It's not like we only have one shot at this, right?"

"Right," he agreed, his lips moving along her neck. "We have forever."

A large smile illuminated their faces. "I love you, Gillian," Cal whispered in her ear before nibbling her earlobe again. Gillian didn't answer, letting be lulled and invaded by the beauty of the moment and by the sensations Cal was awakening in her as he covered her body with gentle and soft kisses.

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><p>Cal slowly opened his eyes and winked several times to adapt to the bright light that penetrated the venetian blinds. The rays of the sun fell as rain on Gillian's body. <em>She was really beautiful! God only knew how much he loved felling her against his body!<em> He reached out and delicately brushed a lock of hair away from her face, smiling to himself contentedly. He propped his hand under his head, the other one resting on the duvet where it covered Gillian's hip. Feeling a weight over the covers and a piercing glance on her, Gillian asked yawning: "Is that you, Cal?"

"Why? Were you expecting someone else? Your other lover, maybe?" he replied, playfully.

She giggled, opening her eyes to look at him. "Well, actually…" She began though pretending to think. But Cal didn't let her finish her explanation. He rolled on top of her and started tickling her. Gillian fidgeted in all directions, trying to get away from his attack. Both were roaming with laughter, so happy to finally have taken the leap.

"Did you sleep well?" He buried his face in the hollow of her neck, feeling the heat radiating from her body.

"Mmm, yeah," she answered, a sly grin permeating her features. She could smell him, his scent and musk gently invading her nostrils. "You?"

He nodded, the hand on her hip slipping around towards the back of her body. "I know you certainly have fantasized about other things, but did you ever think it would have been like _that_?" He was genuinely curious, the question not appearing to be a way of serving his own ego but to be sure the moment had been as magical for her as it had been for him. _"That" had really been beyond all his expectations, beyond all his fantasies, beyond all his beliefs. The communion of their bodies had been so natural, so perfect. Their bodies were definitely sculptured for each other. Never had he felt so in symbiosis and in accordance with a woman. He who had always thought of having known the magic of an orgasm had finally realized that he actually never had felt it until now… until THAT moment when Gillian and he had reached ecstasy together. He had no words to properly describe what he had felt – the electric power that had run through him, the feeling of plenitude he had experienced after their coupling. _

Gillian thought for a moment. "To be honest, I had never dared to hope for fear of being disappointed if I were wrong," she answered frankly.

Cal couldn't quite fathom her meaning. "I didn't disappoint you, did I?" He started to panic. He had so badly wanted to show her how he _really_ felt, had ached so much to make her feel special.

Catching the anguish in his eyes, Gillian raised his hand from her bottom and kissed it, her lips caressing the warm, strong fingers. "I've never felt so ..." She struggled to find words. "You made me feel like the only person in the world, so loved, desirable and beautiful."

"You _are_ the only person in the world. For me, at least. You're the most precious, the most gorgeous, and the most marvelous woman on this planet." He reached out and caressed her cheeks that had turned pink as he was speaking. Gillian smiled at him. _After all these years… A realization had hit her while they were making love - the reason he was so comfortable around other women much more than he ever was with her, was because he didn't __feel__ anything for them. His feelings for them weren't threatening - but for __Gillian__… He was afraid of losing her, her friendship, her care. But, this afternoon, while they were exploring each other's bodies, she had felt something like an inner rage maybe for all the years of sexual frustration, and she admired him for having been able to control his desire and not having pinned her down to the wall and fucked her ruthlessly._

"What are you thinking about?" Cal asked her mischievously.

"Just about your amazing ability to control yourself." She passed her fingers in his disheveled hair, noting his eyes had dangerously darkened and dilated.

"So, after our wonderful first time, do you still think we have a future together?"

"Definitely!" Gillian cried out. "And I would be crazy to leave a man so good in bed!" she added with an enormous smile on her face.

"Beside the sex, I meant," Cal explained, grinning too. "Even if I'm sure you were just kidding."

"Honestly Cal, I yearn for you much more than before. I want to be with you even more."

"Good, because I'm not planning to let you go." His eyes sparkled with delight. He turned on his back, pulled her closer to him and enclosed her in his strong arms.

Suddenly after a moment of silence, Cal raised his head, plunging his gaze into Gillian's face and told her on an almost ceremonial tone: "I love you honey… and I am afraid. I am so afraid of losing you, so afraid of doing something that will take you away from me forever."

Gillian was able to read the distress on Cal's face. She put her hand on his left cheek and said with a solemn tone: "I love you too, Cal… so much… and I'm afraid too… afraid you'll end up growing tired of me, afraid of disappointing you at some point, afraid of losing you too. And having to wait a week to have the final results… even if the doctor has assured me it is a fibrocystic mastitis, I will definitely be reassured next Friday when the results confirm it. So I'm terrified. But, we're together now, aren't we?" She looked at Cal, her eyes filled with hope. As he nodded his head, she continued: "So, we can be frightened together! We will fight together no matter what, right?... Promise me that you will never give up on me, that you will never leave me."

"I won't, my angel. Never. I will always be here with and for you. Anyway, you are and will always be my best friend!"

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><p><strong><em>Thanks again! Hope you liked this chapter! Take care! ;)<em>**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Forgive me for the delay! This is the last chapter. Hope you'll like it! R&R please!**_

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><p>Here they were again. In the hospital waiting room. Contrary to the first time they had been here, Gillian was snuggling against Cal, her head resting on his shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist. She was practically sitting on his lap. The atmosphere was tense. Gillian was holding Cal's right hand in hers and was nervously playing with his fingers. Both seemed lost in their thoughts.<p>

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><p><em>The one week wait had been hard for both of them, but as promised, they had been together. <em>

_Emily had spent the weekend at her mother's house so Cal had stayed with Gillian all the days long. They had spent two days in their own little bubble. They had devoured each other as if they had to make up for all the years they hadn't been together. They had enjoyed every second of their love-making, every kiss, every caress, every lick. They practically hadn't left Gillian's bed all weekend long, having learnt to discover each other, to tame each other's body. Two intense days full of emotions, passion, pleasure and love. Two days spent forgetting life problems, cancer, and work. _

_They had decided to keep their relationship a secret. They had waited so many years to finally be together that they didn't want to share their happiness with their colleagues… for now anyway. They wanted to stay in their own little private cocoon._

_When Monday morning had come, both had been reluctant to leave Gillian's bed and house. But being the Lightman Group's bosses, they hadn't really had any choice. At work, they had managed to not be too obvious. Always having been the most professional of both of them, Gillian had acted… professionally. Her behavior had been remarkably controlled, pleasant, attentive, like nothing had changed, like nothing that big had happened. On the other hand, keeping their relationship a secret had been harder for Cal. He had fought his urges to go in her office every ten minutes just to talk with her, see her or quite simply be with her. But at the end of the week, he had successfully curbed his desires to kiss, touch, and hug Gillian. So globally at work, their employees hadn't noticed any change. _

_On the other hand, at home, it had been another story. When Emily had come back from her mom's on Monday night, she had seen Gillian's car parked in the driveway and had snuck inside to see if her suspicions were correct. She had found Gillian and her dad comfortably seated on the couch, cuddling and occasionally exchanging sweet, little, tender, loving kisses. The wide smile on Gillian's and her father's faces, their flushed cheeks, the way they had been looking at each other - their eyes sparkling with eternal and unconditional love - the way they had been so relaxed in each other's arms. She had known without a doubt that she had been right. Finally!_

_Wrapped in their own little enchanted world, they hadn't heard her arriving. She had startled them when she had run to them, screaming: "You've done it, daddy? You are really finally together?! Oh my God! I'm so proud of you, dad!" Then without taking a single breath, she had hurled at Gillian: "How did he do it? Did he just come in your office and kiss you? What did he say? How did he tell you? What was your answer? Are you moving in?"_

_Gillian had laughed at Emily's enthusiasm and Cal had tried, in vain, to calm his daughter. But secretly, he had enjoyed how Gillian had really maternally handled the situation, explaining to the teenager how he had showed her the MRI-scan and how they had declared their undying love for each other. Captivated, Emily had blissfully absorbed her words like a sponge, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, her mouth parted and almost without breathing. _

_To not unnecessarily alarm Emily, Cal and Gillian had decided, by mutual agreement, to not reveal Gillian's medical dread to her. The three of them had spent a wonderful evening filled with laughter, jokes, teasing and above all love._

_All week long, Cal and Gillian had quite easily and without too many pitfalls found balance between their new couple relationship and their professional partnership. They had done their very best not to think too much about the medical results and the Friday due-date. But when one of them had had dark thoughts or sudden anxiety, the other one had been there to cheer her/him up. As they had promised to each other, they were in their relationship for the long haul and they would always support each other whatever happened._

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><p>They were interrupted in their thoughts by the doctor's arrival. "Miss Foster?" he asked before raising his head from his clipboard. Gillian reluctantly left the warm cocoon provided by Cal's embrace, put her hands on her knees, and pushed herself up. She tried to reassure Cal with a smile and a hand squeeze before following the doctor.<p>

Her absence didn't last more than fifteen minutes but Cal felt like it was an eternity. Eventually, Gillian came out of the doctor's office and slowly walked to Cal. He tried to read her, to decipher her micro-expressions but Gillian had always been his blind-spot; he wasn't able to recognize anything on her face. Her face was emotionless but her eyes were sparkling with tears. Suddenly, a massive knot seized him and got stuck in his stomach. He immediately rose from his chair, walked across the room, stepped into her personal space and pulled her into a bear hug, rocking her for several minutes.

_Oh, no! She isn't smiling. She even seems a little defeated and tense. Oh Gosh, no! She got bad news! She has cancer! It can't be possible! The doctor was so optimistic and reassuring last week! Why are we dogged by bad luck? Why did I wait so long before declaring my love to her? But nevertheless… even scared to death, I will always be there for her and will do anything for her. I will help her go through this ordeal: the chemo, the drugs, their side effects, the pain, the tiredness, the mood swings, the hair loss, the mastectomy if she needs one… I won't ever be deterred and give up on her! I promised her I will never leave her, so I won't… EVER. Especially now that we are finally together, now that I know what it feels like to be in her arms, to kiss her, to make love to her, to be loved by her! Plus, we revealed our relationship to Em – well let's just be honest, she almost caught us in the act! Oh, my sweet, smart Em! I can't disappoint her either! So no! Gillian, you don't have any choice, you're stuck with me now! Period! _

_That's so unfair! Why my Gillian? Why my marvelous, generous, unselfish, bright, loving, gorgeous, intelligent Gillian? She doesn't deserve that! Well, okay, nobody deserves that! But her? She has such a pure soul. As if she hasn't had enough pain knowing she would never be able to conceive and fulfill her biggest dream of becoming a mother, she also has to go through __this__! I hate this world! And I hate that doctor! I'm gonna kill him! I left MY smiling, confident, hopeful Gillian in his care and he gives a defeated, hopeless, tearful Gill back to me! I'm so gonna knock him flying! How dare he do this to her, to me, to __us__! Stupid pretentious twit! Vulture! Liar!... Oh God, how did I not see his lies? Come on, Cal. You dare to call yourself the best deception expert in this world and you haven't been able to decipher his lies! Result: you made Gillian hurt again! You're pathetic! You're as responsible as that doctor! You're a con man; when it comes to the women you love, you're as useless as… bandaging a wooden leg. _

Tightening his hug of Gillian, a devastated and scared Cal began to ramble, unable to contain his frustration, worry, and disappointment any longer: "I'm so sorry, love. But know that I'm here. I will always be here. So, it's cancer, isn't it? I can't believe that! Let me talk to that doctor! I'm sure they messed up with the sample analysis. He told you last week that because of its painful nature, the lump was mostly certainly not cancerous and now this. I'm gonna tell him off!" He tilted his head to the side in attempt to better probe her reaction but all he saw was that her lips were stretching. It almost looked like a smile and a smile could only mean good news, right? He felt a flare of hope lick up his spine.

Suddenly, she burst out laughing before lovingly pecking him on the lips and murmuring: "It's over, Cal! The results definitely confirmed the doctor's presumptions. The lump contained no cancer cells. It will be resorbed all alone without specific treatments. I just have to check it from time to time."

"Really?" Cal asked doubtfully.

"I promise you, Cal," Gillian declared firmly. "But let me tell you, I have never seen you so open before. I was able to read every thought of yours on your face and in your body language. You were really scared, weren't you? But you know what? I'm kinda proud of myself! I succeeded in deceiving the famous Cal Lightman! Oh and for the record, you're not useless and I wouldn't have let you kill that poor doctor. Going to visit you in prison wouldn't have been very helpful for my welfare and healing... and for my libido," Gillian mischievously teased and winked at him.

"You're really mean, you know that? I was so scared. You're really, really… I love you, Gillian."

An adorable delicate blush fanned out across her cheeks as Cal erupted into cheers before lopping his arms around her waist and spun, lifting her off the ground and into his arms for a bear hug. "Oh honey, I'm so happy! That is such great news! We're really gonna be able to move on now the dread is finally behind us!" Both burst into laughter, so relieved and reassured by the news.

Together, hand in hand, a large smile plastered on their faces, they walked toward the exit. When the double doors of the hospital opened, they abruptly stopped, turned their head towards the other, nodded at the same time before happily taking their first steps toward the sidewalk, towards the parking lot, towards their new life as best friends, business partners and finally lovers and soulmates.

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><p><strong>THE END<strong>

_**Thanks for having taken the journey with me and for having read my story. I'm glad some of you liked it! **_

_**I would like to thank all the people who left so lovely and encouraging reviews.**_


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